I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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