Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize