hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
