I'm lost and stupid without you.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
