I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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