this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
