we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
