I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Randomize
