i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
