these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
