Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize