She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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