margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I checked into jail on foursquare
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
