I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
we're so committed to being not committed
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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