we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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