He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize