So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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