Pants 0. Shit 1.
I met the friendliest cop last night
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
