We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize