Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
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