Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.