Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
It can also be a hat.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.