Texts From Last Night

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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf

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  (832): dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf http://tfl.nu/g2ft
  Replies (6) Good night (672) Bad night (1273)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon

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  (845): Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon http://tfl.nu/pdkb
  Replies (16) Good night (593) Bad night (4867)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?

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  (651): What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid? http://tfl.nu/a3m4
  Replies (49) Good night (576) Bad night (3893)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"

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  (215): YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP" http://tfl.nu/srh9
  Replies (12) Good night (813) Bad night (4421)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook

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  (847): Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook http://tfl.nu/zrse
  Replies (9) Good night (3364) Bad night (1705)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome

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  (609): You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome http://tfl.nu/6r0p
  Replies (7) Good night (3951) Bad night (772)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.

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  (806): We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers. http://tfl.nu/r7l6
  Replies (16) Good night (2595) Bad night (706)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.

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  (501): When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis. http://tfl.nu/n1sn
  Replies (5) Good night (824) Bad night (230)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?

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  (520): Did your surprise acid trip turn out well? http://tfl.nu/10os
  Replies (6) Good night (510) Bad night (345)
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  (516): View more from New York

  I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare

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  (516): I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare http://tfl.nu/2gb3
  Replies (1) Good night (401) Bad night (225)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.

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  (615): I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn. http://tfl.nu/8jte
  Replies (2) Good night (536) Bad night (155)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.

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  (570): I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day. http://tfl.nu/mbwl
  Replies (2) Good night (761) Bad night (196)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?

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  (+44): Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin? http://tfl.nu/rh13
  Replies (5) Good night (414) Bad night (211)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls

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  (703): This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls http://tfl.nu/fkw5
  Replies (2) Good night (443) Bad night (210)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.

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  (601): You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears. http://tfl.nu/i99a
  Replies (2) Good night (724) Bad night (215)

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