I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.