She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
My pussy is not your playground.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.