How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
