And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
