When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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