You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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