The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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