Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Only a mothe r could love this liver
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
