Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
soo... how was my night?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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