Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Randomize
