i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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