I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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