she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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