We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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