i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
