she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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