Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
