do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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