dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
You know, be my cock's hype man.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
