It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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