last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
