Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
