There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
