On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
