Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
