don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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