I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
