i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
