Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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