Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
