problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Randomize