Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
