I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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