im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
