just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize