We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Randomize
