I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize